Guest Blog: My story of surviving stomach cancer in Turkiye – PART IV

Guest Blog 7 – PART IV

By Mehtap Savaş

January 2025

Ankara, Turkiye

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This guest blog consists of seven parts – hyperlinks will be added as they are published in order:

PART I – INTRODUCTION (please see here)

PART II – LIFE WITH CANCER AND TREATMENT (please see here)

PART III – LIFE WITHOUT A STOMACH (please see here)

PART IV – RETURN TO WORK AND IMPACT OF CANCER

PART V – FOLLOW UP: GOOD DOCTORS, BAD DOCTORS (please see here)

PART VI – CURRENT STATE & FINAL WORDS (please see here)

PART VII – SILENCE OF THE MOTHERS (please see here)

PART VII –  SILENCE OF THE MOTHERS (please see here)

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RETURN TO WORK

I was a Civil Servant working as a lawyer at the headquarters of a large institution with a very high workload. Even though I had a long sick leave, I returned to work quite early. 

When I started working, our female General Counsel, who was our supervisor before my illness, was very understanding, helpful to me, and supportive. But the attitude of some of my colleagues, especially their lack of empathy, was annoying. I didn't care about it at the time. 

It was great to get together with my favorite friends at the workplace. We were having a good time together. I regained my old joy. I also started to do things that I couldn't do before. I was making time for myself, going to concerts and having fun with my friends. We also took tennis lessons together.

MY TREKKING ADVENTURE 

When I felt good physically, I started trekking. It was very difficult at first, then I started walking as good as my group mates. We were having so much fun. Every week we were walking up the mountain on a different track and getting clean air. I attended regularly for 2.5 years. Once we got lost as a small group in front. Our situation was very funny 😊 One of our guides found us.

MY WORKPLACE AND MY PSYCHOLOGY

I think it was 3 years after my treatment when our supervisor retired. One of my colleagues was appointed in her place. Let’s face it; lack of understanding and accommodations may be a reality for employees affected by cancer at the workplace. I struggled for a year. I felt that even going to the hospital for my tests could be a problem. And my psychology collapsed. As someone who has faced death, my tolerance limit has fallen very low. It was like I was being punished for having cancer. After a nervous breakdown at work, I went to a psychiatrist.

Even though the supervisors changed, I continued to feel issues until I retired 5.5 years ago. I struggled constantly in the last years of my working life.

MAJOR DEPRESSION

My desire for life decreased, I became someone who couldn't sleep, couldn't laugh, didn't want to do anything, and cried over ridiculous things, even though I didn't even cry when I was diagnosed with cancer. Also, the idea of jumping from the 11th floor was constantly floating around in my mind. I didn't have a suicidal idea, but it was involuntarily messing with my brain. 

That's why I kept myself away from windows. If we ask why the 11th floor, the answer is that it is the floor where my office is located.

After listening to me for a long time with my questions, the psychiatrist said, "In cancer patients, the psychological process is experienced as REBELLION – DENIAL - DEPRESSION and ACCEPTANCE, but it seems that you have directly moved to the acceptance stage."  

He explained that my problems at work had triggered this process that I was experiencing incompletely, and that this process that I had to go through before was now starting to be completed.

He diagnosed me with major depression and started me on medication. He also gave me a 2-month sick leave report and asked me to stay away from my workplace and reminders of negative experiences.

Later, a male colleague of mine at work said that there were no tests for depression, how could doctors make the diagnosis without a test, that there was no such disease, that I had actually lost my determination to work, and that I would get better if I worked harder. Isn't it a joke?

Some people confuse unhappiness with depression. And the most common thing I'm told is that everything ends in the mind and that I shouldn't worry about it. Such people: please do not try to give us advice. Depression is not a whim.

Unfortunately, I have had this disease (depression) for 10.5 years. Because for the reasons I will try to explain, my depression can escalate and, according to my psychiatrist, it is recurring again and again. I go back to the moment I was diagnosed with cancer. After my mother's death, I went to therapy for nearly two years. I want to get better, but I still haven't been able to do it.

CAN I HAVE A HOBBY IF I HAVE A PHOBIA?

When I started to feel a little better after being diagnosed with major depression, I took up hobbies to keep my mind busy. I dealt with things like purse designs, wood painting, sewing, knitting, and watercolor painting. This felt good to me. I was giving the bags as gifts to the people I loved. I still continue with old and new hobbies.


MY SECOND SURGERY

In the ultrasound taken during a check-up in the fourth year after my treatment, the assistant doctor detected 3.5 cm mass in my ovary. I experienced another shock. MRI showed that there was no such mass. But my doctor wanted me to have surgery for preventive reasons, saying that it could reduce my future potential cancer risk. It was a very mild surgery compared to my first surgery. My sister accompanied me in the hospital. We had so much fun the night before the surgery. Thank you my dear sister :-)


OUR RIGHT TO SICK LEAVE

We have up to 12 months of paid sick leave for each illness and up to 36 months for diseases like cancer. After one year, this right is renewed. For this, a committee consisting of three doctors must report. 

I was experiencing depressive attacks from time to time during my severe depression. By the way, I mentioned above that I had a second surgery. When I fell due to neuropathy, I broke my ankle ligament and there was also a fracture where it broke. Since I could not work in these cases, a sick leave report was given. From time to time, a report was given by my oncologist.

I mostly experienced issues at work because of my sick leave. They also suggested that I could retire due to disability. As a lawyer, I knew my rights. It was frustrating. I retired 9 years after my treatment because my work was affecting my health negatively.


AN EXAMPLE OF MY DEPRESSION ATTACKS

Orthopedist who thinks he is an endocrinologist: At one point, I had bone pain throughout my body, mostly in my hip bones. I went to an ORTHOPEDICS professor in a private hospital. Films were shot and other examinations were conducted. The doctor ordered a PET CT scan because I had intense bone pain and because of my medical history. I discussed this with my oncologist before the scan, and when he approved, I got the scan. 

As a result, only a minimal increase in retention in the thyroid was noted. The doctor told me I had thyroid cancer. I found myself in the corridor with the report in my hand and stood there again. I am someone who has had my thyroid checked regularly for 15 years. Where did this come from? 

I took the results to my surgeon who performed my stomach surgery at the first opportunity and my doctor said the results were great. I didn't have cancer or anything. It is an organ that retains radioactive substances given to the body due to its thyroid function. It was a huge mistake and even arrogance for the orthopedist to diagnose me with cancer on a subject that had nothing to do with his field of expertise.

My psychiatrist said it took me back to the moment I was diagnosed with cancer. And he named another doctor, saying that the most cruel doctors come from among surgeons.

NEXT: PART V – FOLLOW UP: GOOD DOCTORS, BAD DOCTORS