Guest Blog: “Then there was hope”

Guest Blog Post – 6

By Namiko Sakamoto

March 2024

Newfoundland and Labrador

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1 in 8 women is diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in spring 2020 shortly after the world was placed under the first COVID-19 lockdown. With coughs and a choking feeling, I thought I had COVID-19 positive. Instead, it was cancer.

Upon hearing that news, I went in complete shock.

Since there is a history of cancer in my family, I had prepared myself for this date, but not at the age of 41! I just got married, just rescued a puppy, just talked about starting family…

Suddenly my life was turned upside down and I feared for my day life, my body or my future. Has it spread? Can it be treated? What are my treatment options? Would I make it?

I was distressed, anxious and overwhelmed by the uncertainty, and cried for days and nights thinking about the possibility of the worst.

Although cancer treatments and outcomes have greatly improved in recent years, it can still be frightening to hear the word “cancer“.

My cancer journey began with many appointments and tests such as CT scan, X-ray, bone scan, heart scan or blood work. I strongly recommend you to have a pocket planner handy so that you can manage and record all appointments.

As a new cancer patient, I wanted some professionals to assist me and family or simply tell us what happens next.

There are cancer patient navigators across the province who support you and your family throughout your cancer journey. They provide information about services and resources that are available to you and your family, look up next appointment time when you lost your notes or become liaisons between you and medical team. I had one amazing nurse navigator who was always there for me and guided me when I was lost in Cancerland.

My treatment plan was set for chemotherapy, surgery and radiation therapy, and my first chemo started in the midst of pandemic. Sadly, I was not able to bring anyone with me for the beginning of my cancer care appointments due to COVID-19 restrictions. This included my very first appointment at Cancer Centre to meet oncologist and discuss about the treatment options.

Imagine this: You are there alone already distressed by cancer diagnosis, you feel numb at times with huge amount of information given by your medical staffs, and on top of that English is not your mother tongue. You want someone to comfort you and remember what you hear. But you are there alone.

I went in all 7 sessions of chemo alone, wished someone stay with me while I was hooked on IV for 5-6 hours. It was one of the cruelest time period of my cancer care.

Having cancer is awful, and no one deserves cancer.

Before cancer diagnosis I was outgoing, optimistic, independent and the one who takes care of everyone else. After the diagnosis I was struggling with anxiety and fear, and that easily took me into a very dark time or a lot of sleepless nights. More I felt weak inside, more I tried to look strong outside.

However, not showing my real emotions was uncomfortable and exhausting, and I was losing control of my life on a rollercoaster in Cancerland. My cancer diagnosis had a significant impact on my husband too.

It is an obvious fact that cancer diagnosis can affect the emotional health of patients and families.

Thankfully, I met a wonderful oncology social worker through cancer patient navigator and was able to address my concerns at each counseling. Having someone neutral to talk things through with really helped lower my anxiety and fear. Note that it is important to share your feelings and thoughts with your care team (or anyone) because it will help you manage the stress, as well as it will lead to find positive coping strategies or the way of dealing with cancer treatment.

Then, there was a hope.

After many tears and 10 months of ups and downs, I have come out on the other side stronger than ever. I will never forget the feeling that I had on my last day of radiation when I rang Hope Bell. Yes, I got through it!

I had been given a second chance at life.

Everyone’s cancer journey is different. For most of people it is a life-changing experience. For me it was also a gift because I am a better person after cancer. I did not choose breast cancer, however, I chose who I was going to be after cancer diagnosis and changed my life for the better as a result. Now I know what I am capable of, or how to manage my emotions, and appreciate every lesson that cancer has taught me.

Surviving cancer is a major accomplishment.

With adjusting my emotional and physical changes, now I live a “new normal” life and enjoy it to the fullest. I am not afraid of talking about my cancer history anymore.

Thanks to this research group for giving me a wonderful opportunity to speak out. I am grateful for being a part of this amazing team, and assured that our work will lead to improve cancer care in Newfoundland and Labrador, and help future cancer patients and families.

Once cancer survivors saved my life, now it is my turn to save someone’s.

Together let’s take one day at a time.

Disclaimer: Guest blogs are the purposes of education and/or sharing perspectives. The information shared by bloggers should not be interpreted as medical advice. All health information should be discussed with your health care provider. The website owners are not responsible for the contents of the guest blog posts.

This guest blog is a part of a public – scientist collaborative project led by the Public Interest Group on Cancer Research in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. For further information, please see here: mun.yaffle.ca/projects/15039.